In ways the mind may never resolve, wisdom is pouring through you, washing away everything that is less than whole, preparing you for what is next. But what is next is always of the nameless and will never be approached ahead of time by means of the conceptual. Stay close, and attune to the creativity as it emerges out of the here and now.
While the narrative that you are ‘falling apart’ is rich and multi-layered, look carefully and see if you were ever 'together' to begin with. You are the vast space in which 'together' and 'apart' dance in union. Rest for a moment and honor the wholeness that is moving within you.
If you remain too identified with ‘falling apart,’ you cut into the natural aliveness that is the essence of pure, immediate experience. You lose contact with the radiance within, and become misattuned to the flow of somatic experience, exactly as it is. You disconnect with the intelligence of embodied presence, with the wisdom of the earth, and with the realization that nothing has ever been wrong with you. You forget that the darkness, when provided sanctuary, is brighter than a thousand suns.
But if you remain too identified with ‘holding it all together,’ you disconnect from your natural vulnerability and the spontaneous mystery as it appears, turning from the surging reality that your heart could break at any moment. It is true that raw, tender sadness could approach you at any time, requesting safe passage inside you. But it is through this broken aliveness that the poetry of your life will flow.
Right in the middle of ‘falling apart’ and ‘holding it together’ is the secret essence. Stay there. For it is the greatest, most radical act of kindness to provide the gift of pure rest. It is here where the light and the dark are in union, where integration and disintegration emerge as one in love, and where lunar and solar weave together particles of the sacred world.